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Of course, he will question this over and over in his mind, wondering whether you were asking him to hang out just to be friends, or if you wanted something more.So show him that you want something more - ask repeatedly.Unfortunately there is no quantifiable or simple rule here, as his threshold for embarrassment will vary in proportion to his shyness and his pride, which are different in every man. Well, for starters, in the early stages, you will need to give him blatant signs of your interest.Aside from their innate male tendency to overlook anything that isn't spelled out in black and white, shy men will by default doubt any sign of your affection.Though he knows his own limitations (as prescribed by his shyness), he also knows what a typical man is "supposed to do." So he recognizes, too, when you are doing it for him.This will offend him if you flaunt it, or if it is evident due simply to the social magnitude of the task you've assumed (for example, if you take his hand and lead him through a crowd).The first thing to do when you find yourself attracted to a shy man is to question your feelings for him.

The biggest problem is that it won't be clear to you whether or not his unresponsiveness is a product of his shyness or his lack of interest in you - because it could be either one. His persistent willingness to hang out with you might be stem from a real interest, but it also might be a manifestation of his unfulfilled desire for female attention; he could just enjoy dabbling in the idea of a relationship but at the same time not like you enough to want anything serious with you.

Comments like "Oh, I thought you were going drive/get the tickets/plan the trip/[insert other traditionally masculine roles here]" can help in priming his confidence if it seems to be lagging and it bothers you.

Dating a shy man takes a lot of initial investment for an uncertain outcome.

In general, you will need to carry the relationship up until the point that it is "official." When it has been established (or is otherwise clear) that the two of you are together, then you should start reducing your initiative and letting him take the reins.

As I said, he will probably start to do this on his own anyway, so rather than forcing it, just be cognizant of the transition.




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