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It can be tempting to rationalize this away: after all, why wouldn’t someone take being desired as a compliment?But then: when you say will do, you’re saying that you don’t give a damn about the individual. I was sabotaging myself in a number of ways that I didn’t even realize… The longer this goes on, the more you’re becoming convinced more than ever that this whole dating/sex/talking to other people thing is something that do and you’d be better off weighing the pros and cons of a monastic life of quiet desperation and a poetic death via alcoholism interspersed with self-pitying and slightly arch animated gif parades on Tumblr or women being bitches or any number of other things I told myself to explain my failures away.

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Nerd Love, even in myself in different aspects of my daily life.

Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.

Suddenly, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in a bar without hitting someone trying to rock a fuzzy top-hat and black nail polish or a shiny silk jacket, spiky earrings and New Rock boots.

In short: your own desires are sabotaging your efforts to slake them.

As paradoxical as it may seem, you will never have better success at getting laid or finding a relationship by had it right: you get laid more by not trying.

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Ross’s system is based on NLP: neuro-linguistic programming.

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What will it feel like to be with this person and have things between you be how you've always hoped they would be? Immerse yourself in the feelings you want to experience and feel them as if they are real. Go chasing after the feelings you want to experience.

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